Career break – or career pause
If words are important, then how about starting with a quote:
‘Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is perhaps the end of the beginning.’ (Winston Churchill, November 10th, 1942)
Whatever your view on politicians, Winston Churchill, who served twice as Prime Minister, can certainly be commended for his ability to deliver a memorable quote. And whilst the link between this quote and taking a career break seems tenuous, maternity leave does very much feel like a hazy jumble of ends and beginnings.
Mixed up in all of that is the term career break, which doesn’t quite seem fit for purpose. For some, it is a short career pause; for others, a chance to pivot into new challenges; and for all new mothers, a completely new chapter. At times, we may all feel a bit broken. If we choose our words more carefully, focusing on our career pause and on motherhood as a time to develop new skills, perhaps we can think more about what comes next and take ownership of our career story with greater confidence. And where better to start than by listening to real stories from women who have done it. Women who are currently managing to blend working and home life.
Having interviewed several women at various stages of motherhood and professional life about returning to work, ahead of Investing in Women’s Return Ready Week, aimed especially at career returners, there’s a lot of common ground, no matter if a career pause is 1 year or 2 decades. Balancing career and family is a continual juggle, involving a sizeable portion of guilt and requiring support both in the workplace and at home if the whole family is to thrive. There are ongoing challenges, both systemic and logistical, and the emotional load can weigh heavily. There are also positives to embrace and wise words to consider.
Career pause – length and impact
Unsurprisingly, the longer the break, the greater the challenge to the return. Deep feelings of insecurity were and remain just below the surface for the returner who spent 20 years at home raising children. Not only imposter syndrome, but the simple fact that there has not been so much technological evolution, but rather revolution. In her words, the workplace was ‘a completely new world to me.’ Couple this with a degree of ageism, and the statement, ‘I felt more like a mother figure to them than an equal,’ seems entirely understandable.
By contrast, the returner taking just one year out still felt connected and therefore relatively ready to return to her role. It was not necessarily without challenges; however, the same role and the same industry make for a smoother transition. This returner understood the environment she was returning to and could focus on goals that were important to her: ‘I want my girls to see me as a working mum, plus I love my job!’
The potent and positive mix of loving the job you can return to and feeling part of something cannot be underestimated. The biggest takeaway from this 1-year returner was the importance of staying up to date and keeping in touch with colleagues during maternity leave.
Career support – managers and colleagues
Time and time again, the women interviewed referenced the importance of line managers and colleagues who were understanding and supportive, and who had ‘been through it’ themselves. Most mentioned childcare and the associated fallout, such as managing child illness and negotiating time off for key events. For one returner having a direct line manager with two older children who was ‘solution orientated and truly put me at the centre of my decision making,’ felt pivotal in feeling re-established, secure, and supported in the workplace.
Similarly, working in an open and friendly environment with colleagues to lean on and ask questions made returning more manageable and working life more enjoyable. That said, often feelings of insecurity lurked just below the surface, ‘There was always a question I needed to ask, the answer to which I thought I should know.’ It was also interesting to note one returner’s comments in the early days: ‘I also intentionally/ unintentionally kept my interactions with colleagues to a minimum, so that I could race home.’ Nothing sums up the juggle better, and hints at the split role – professional and mother – that women try so hard to balance. Or as our 20-year returner commented, ‘the fridge wasn’t always full… the house wasn’t always tidy, but I became very efficient!’
Network
Alongside a supportive workplace, the importance of maintaining a network at every stage of any career was mentioned countless times. ‘Staying up to date,’ whilst on a career pause, was seen as a key component for a smoother return to work. As one returner aptly summed up, ‘keep something on the back burner, or at least keep your network warm.’
What gave this returner clarity was 8 years away from her industry, spent raising children, taking courses, and setting up a new business, until eventually she ‘I finally came full circle and ended up back in the industry I’d started in.’
Whilst there were significant obstacles for her to overcome, such as the gender perception of being a woman with almost a decade out of the formal workplace (yes, despite picking up a qualification and running a successful independent business for 3 years), over the longer term, the positives also emerged. So that her resulting career story is along these lines, ‘I started small by learning the things I wanted to learn… I pivoted…I feel that if I hadn’t made the choices I made along the way, I probably wouldn’t feel as driven as I feel now.’
Overall, whilst there is always the opportunity to transition into a new industry and to start again, it is hugely worthwhile to keep your network warm and your industry knowledge up to date. Similarly, your CV should be alive with any new skills learnt, volunteering, and new ventures tried. It was an idea put forward that in an ideal world, women returning from a career pause might all have ‘a champion, who will put their reputation on the line because they believe in you.’
Childcare
The factor that loomed largest here was, quite simply, getting childcare right. The availability and proximity of nursery places, the need for nursery hours to match contracted hours, and the importance of a partner or help at home. It was seen as completely unmanageable for both partners to work long full-time hours. In practical terms, what this often meant was, ‘You never understand illness, and how quickly things can change with children.’ In several cases, partners worked from home or had flexible roles, which enabled the women to juggle their working hours accordingly in the knowledge that someone was available to take up the slack.
The other significant factor to emerge was that once a positive childcare routine was established, and the children were happily settled, returners instinctively felt more comfortable and freer to start enjoying their professional role.
Flexibility
Getting the childcare conundrum right, along with a good dose of workplace flexibility, has a huge impact on how women feel about working and returning to work. Quite simply, flexibility equals manageability. In addition, a workplace that supports women taking time off for key events and leaving early on occasion truly helps keep the guilt of not being present enough in check.
This was felt to come from supportive line managers and by having established flexible working practices. However, a couple of returners also recognised their own agency – by proving themselves early on in a role, they could earn trust and therefore gain increased flexibility. It was also noted that some industries were more accepting and accustomed to women working part-time roles, but that overall, things were changing.
There were, however, other limitations in flexible roles, inasmuch as leadership opportunities were often not possible; ‘something has to give, my career had to take a back seat.’ Most returners felt they were stretched enough juggling career and home and that progressing up the career ladder would come at the expense and sacrifice of family time. That said, flexible roles had an undeniable positive upside – one returner reflected that she could devote ‘a considerable proportion of myself to being present for my children.’
Financial and personal independence
The defining moment here is, of course, the first pay packet after a career pause. It is far more than that, however, for as one returner put it, ‘It’s great to get some financial independence back again and to return to the profession I enjoy and trained so hard for.’ There are plenty of complications that can get in the way of this renewed independence; however, one returner mentioned maternity leave spent recovering from pregnancy complications, and another commented on how easy it had been to ‘default into prioritising a husband or partner’s career.’ It was also felt by some as harder to return to work with a first child, but easier with subsequent children. Whether maternal hard wiring or perceptions of gender expectation or a mix of both, the cumulative effect of these issues means that women still bear the burden of the parent penalty. Very quickly, all these factors can submerge a sense of identity and self-confidence.
Despite this, returning to work, with all its messiness, can also crystallise the many skills and resilience learnt from motherhood. Everyone mentioned working being enjoyable to some degree and a chance to be away from childcare. Other comments were ‘happy to get back,’ ‘fulfilled,’ ‘mentally ready for more stimulation, and the need to ‘be dynamic again.’
Own your career story
All returners conveyed a powerful sense that what counts as success shifts massively on becoming a parent, but several also felt hopeful that there is still time for change and to take on more responsibility as family circumstances evolve. Whilst learning how to ‘switch gears’ between parent and professional roles might remain a work in progress, most of the women felt a degree of ownership over their career stories. Whether for one year, one decade, or two, by reframing the career break as a career pause or a period of transition to refresh skills and create new opportunities, it is possible to continue developing and thrive. And no returner should wait around for the perfect job, ‘my career story is still at an early stage, there are many chapters waiting to be written by me.’
Closing words
As chosen by the returners interviewed to sum up their career story experience so far…
Unequipped, Insecure, Drained, Guilty, Fatigue, Stimulation, Anxiety, Challenging, Balance, Motivated, Exhausted, Appreciated, Inspired, Purpose.