Today, I had the most wonderful chat with Nicki Jarvis from Accenture about raising awareness of the fertility struggles many women (myself included) face and how to juggle the demands of fertility treatment and a busy job without going insane.
As well as being one of the loveliest people you will ever meet, Nicki is also an IVF mum herself. At the time of her treatment, Nicki was a Senior Manager at Accenture, managing large client projects. These projects often involved lots of travel. Nicki, therefore, knows how hard it can be to juggle work and treatment. She is keen to use her experience to support others who may be undergoing similar struggles at the moment.
If you’re struggling to conceive or know someone concerned about how they will fit fertility treatment into a busy job, this article is for you.
Could you tell us a bit about your fertility journey?
I met my husband when I was in my early 30s. I knew my mum and gran had struggled to have children, so I was aware it might be an issue. We tried naturally for about a year before going to the doctor to get checked out and determine the problem.
We were referred to a fertility consultant who, upon scanning me, told me I had a very low number of eggs for my age. She said we would need IVF to conceive, and if that didn’t work, we were advised to try donor eggs.
You can imagine that I was devastated by this diagnosis, but we went for IVF straight away on the doctor’s advice.
During our first round of treatment, the doctors retrieved five eggs. Only two embryos survived today 3. The doctor put these back, but unfortunately, I started bleeding during the 2-week wait, so this round of treatment was unsuccessful.
We decided to try again a few months later. Again, we had two embryos put back. I took a test on the morning of test day. It showed as negative. Upset, I left the test in the bathroom. When I returned to the bathroom a few hours later, I noticed a faint line on the test. I couldn’t believe it. I did another test the next day. This time, the line came out much darker. Sure enough, my son was born nine months later!
We were fortunate to conceive my second child naturally when my eldest was just over a year old. We now have two sons, aged 4 and 2, who keep me on my toes!
Did you broach your fertility struggles with your employer?
Yes – I did, although I recognise this is a personal choice, and not everyone feels comfortable telling others if they struggle to conceive.
I did have some concerns before telling work. Like many women, I worried that my plans to start a family might affect my promotion prospects. But I wanted to feel supported and for people to understand that I wasn’t the bubbly person I usually am during those weeks of treatment. I also needed colleagues to know if I couldn’t attend meetings because I had to attend a doctor’s appointment.
Ultimately, my decision to tell my Manager and colleagues was the best thing I did (it also did not affect my career prospects).
The initial conversation with my Manager was difficult, but only because I had built it up in my head. She was amazing. Her friend had had fertility treatment, so she knew first-hand how difficult it could be. She was also fantastic when my first treatment failed. She told me to take time off and covered for me when I needed time to grieve.
The more I shared my story, the more other people confided in me that they had had fertility treatment or struggled themselves.
Does Accenture have any policies in place to support individuals struggling with fertility?
Yes – we do. Accenture offers ten days’ paid leave to employees undergoing fertility treatment. There is a lot of flexibility in how you can take this time off – i.e. an hour here or there for a quick scan or a full day for egg retrieval.
Knowing I had a paid day’s leave for treatment was a huge weight off my shoulders. It meant I didn’t have to use my holiday allowance, and it helped me relax during treatment.
Could you tell me about the fertility support network you have since set up within Accenture? How does it help others?
Accenture has a support network called Accent on Family. Accent on Family comprises various groups that help and support employees who may need assistance with family commitments (such as child or elder care).
On my return from my first maternity leave, Accent on Family arranged an IVF session. A doctor was speaking to employees about the treatment process. I contacted the person who had arranged the session, explained my story and asked to get involved.
I felt so fortunate to work with such a supportive team while undergoing treatment, and I wanted to recreate that experience for others. I now manage the Fertility Support Network within Accent on Family with another IVF mum.
We run Fertility Fridays. These take place every other month. During these sessions, we raise awareness around various fertility issues, including Endometriosis, PCOs, etc. Sometimes, people share their stories, and at other sessions, we arrange for a doctor to come in and talk. We are very fortunate that Accenture’s Healthcare provider, AXA, has supported us in finding speakers.
The Head of HR sends Fertility Friday invitations to the entire UK workforce, and they are very well attended.
I also offer 1:1 sessions with colleagues undergoing fertility treatment and signpost them to the support Accenture offers its employees – 10 days paid leave for fertility treatment, for example.
Once an employee becomes pregnant, we signpost them to our Expectant Parent Support Group, which you can learn more about here. This group runs coffee mornings and advises employees on HR maternity policies, including filling in timesheets before going on maternity leave, making the most of your KIT days and securing a buddy to support you when you return to work. They also offer advice on more fun stuff, such as what to buy for your new baby.
If someone is struggling with their fertility and trying to juggle treatment and work, what advice would you give them?
I appreciate that not everyone is comfortable confiding in many people if they need fertility treatment, but I would say, if possible, find one person you can trust.
If you don’t have an immediate colleague you can tell, speak to HR. HR has to remain confidential. They can advise you on the support your employer offers for fertility treatment.
I found the easiest way to explain it to others was to be quite clinical. People are often curious as to how the process works. If you explain it from a scientific perspective—like it is happening to someone else—it helps prevent you from becoming too emotional while letting people know you may need various forms of support.
I also found it helpful not to let IVF treatment take over my life. I continued working as usual and travelling to London. During the week, I stayed in hotels and bought a mini-fridge to store my medication. After work, I would visit the pub with colleagues and inject myself in the toilets. This was my way of coping, and I ensured I didn’t dwell too much on my treatment and whether it would work.
The second time around, I was more guarded about the exact timings. This protected me as I didn’t want people prying when test day came around. But because colleagues knew we were struggling, they didn’t ask too many questions and continued supporting me.
Fertility problems can be a hidden disability. By telling people about your struggles, you can help them adapt to you and your needs rather than vice versa.
I would also say that knowledge is also power. So, if you can, get your fertility tested early so you are aware of any potential problems before they become issues.
Since my treatment, I have also been introduced to IVF Babble. IVF Babble is a fantastic online fertility magazine that runs an online TV channel and supports an App. They’re a great resource for anyone going through treatment who may have questions or need support. They have supported Accenture with a Fertility Friday. Just knowing platforms such as IVF Babble can support couples during a lonely and isolating time is empowering.
What practical steps do you feel employers can take to support their staff struggling with fertility?
Awareness campaigns within the workplace help to bring fertility struggles out of the shadows. Encouraging people to talk and share their stories makes these struggles feel more normal. Try to appoint an ambassador to raise fertility awareness in the workplace and support employees undergoing treatment.
Please watch this video for more information about Accenture’s Accent on Family.
To find out how Accenture put diversity and inclusion at the heart of how they work, please visit their Diversity and Inclusion page.
And if you’re facing IVF treatment and worried about how you’ll juggle appointments with a busy job, then watch the replay of a LinkedIn Live I did with fertility coach Emma Menzies. Emma offers actionable advice on managing the impact of fertility treatment on your career.
